Memorial Day

I have returned to work on this, like most national holidays, not because I don't think it's worthwhile to remember our fallen heroes but because I like working in the lab by myself sometimes. Anyway, I was at my dad's this weekend because it's one year after the death of my mother so we did some memorializing of our own to those who have died in the fight against cancer. That's probably enough sentiment and emotion for one weekend.

Memorial Day does take on an interesting cast in light of what many believe to be an unjust war. What is heroism in this context? I fully agree with those who suggest that troops should be supported and those who say that, to die in battle is heroic but, why? I mean, dying is sad but why is it inherently heroic to fight for one's country, right or wrong? To me it's kind of like that father-to-be who died climbing Everest. If I were pregnant and my husband threatened to scale Mt. Everest, I would strap him to a chair. I once heard a story, on npr, about a woman who had lost her father in Vietnam and she felt very angry when anyone implied that he had died in vain. Why, then, I wondered? What was her rationale for his death? She says something along the lines of, "A soldier's death is never a waste. It's a sacrifice. One for which free people should always be grateful." So, I'm free because of the Vietnam War? I mean, obviously it's unkind of people to be so unfeeling toward this girl but I really am not sure that that war made my life, or anyone else's, better. So, I guess it's more abstract than that. Because soldiers are willing to give their lives, abstractly and overall, I am free. When I feel the need to support troops, I'm more inclined to wind up just feeling angry that the men in power are so flip with human life and take so lightly their power to manipulate peoples' commitments, knowing that so many people have taken oaths to do whatever is the order of their commander in chief. I'm looking to the more "liberal" press today to see if I can find something that rings true. I find very little to think about. The more liberal the news source, the more likely they seem to be to just avoid the topic. I enjoyed this piece in the nytimes. I can see how it's awesome for people to be able to improve their lives via military service, provided they stay alive. The sucky downsided to this is that it tends to be the poor and minority people who die for all these ill-conceived engagements. Maybe what I'd like to do is just remember that it sucks that people have died in wars for generations and generations and are dying today. Maybe I'll spend the day hoping that wars won't have to continue. Is that what the pacifists are doing? Do we have space in our imaginations for another way of doing things? Is war inevitable, as long as a single person is willing to start a war? Is it my citizenship in a prosperous country that gives me the luxury of imagining that we're anywhere near calling the whole thing off? What needs to be done to stop all of this ridiculous killing?

I guess the bottom line is that I hesitate to show support for troops out of the fear that we use the label of heroism to keep the populace from being angry that the government is killing their families. I'm concerned that the daughter who lost her father in Vietnam hates to hear people say that he died in vain because the anger would be too much for her and her powerlessness would overwhelm her so she continues to perpetuate the cycle. I hate that these people have died more than anything and the more sentimental the appeal, the more firmly I'm convinced. I saw Saving Private Ryan and suffered from a very mild and brief, but real, case of post traumatic stress disorder and yet veterans say that I can't possibly imagine. My imagination tells me that war is a horribly bloody, gory, and inhumane travesty of gigantic proportions and yet veterans remind me that my imagination is insufficient. Yet, often it's veterans who continue to support the system. It boggles my mind unless I realize that, if it's really for nothing, life would become very difficult to justify. On the other hand, dying of cancer is an ugly and painful thing and there's no reason for that. But people who lose loved-ones to cancer don't go around trying to give it to other people...