I feel annoyed when men talk about how hard women are to understand. There are several reasons. It's hard to break down. But, a friend of mine recently said that he hates working in majority male workplaces because these environments tend to nurture conversations that revolve around sex and sports. The friend doesn't like to talk about either topic with his coworkers. This observation by my friend led me to consider what gets discussed in primarily female environments and it's not so easy to describe. This makes me think two things: (1) If I go around saying that all men talk about is sex and sports, gobs and tons of men would agree with me, but, I would be alienating and excluding lots of other men who don't. (2) If the men who say that women are hard to understand fall into the category of men who talk primarily about sex and sports, I can see how they would feel confused by the proverbial women, who have more than two topics of conversation. On the other hand, we have Randy Travis who extols that old men will "talk about the weather...forever and ever amen," while old women will "talk about old men." I think he's referring primarily to old farmers, whose jobs depend on the weather.
Now I will stop rambling to describe what I have thought of in terms of things I talk about when only women are around that I would not talk about if a man or two were present:
(1) My weight. Including my attempts to lose weight, how badly I have eaten recently, how fat I have become or fear I will become, and any recent fluctuations in my weight. This also includes conversations that fall under the umbrella of assuming that my companions worry about their weights as much as I do.
(2) Men. Sorry, I know it's cliche but it's true. Randy Travis is not totally wrong. It probably has to do with the minority's reliance on the majority, etc. Anyway, I talk to my female friends about my husband, their partners, the way men do things or don't do things, differences between genders (the conversation I'm currently sharing falls into category number 2), etc.
(2) How cute things are. This is the one that I mentioned to my friend. Many women will talk about pop idols but, in science, I find that lots of women like to talk about how cute baby animals and various microbes are (I'm a microbiologist). Also, sometimes, tiny glassware (particularly organic chemists).
All of this caused me to think about what I talk about when men are around. Some things that I talk about in the all-female lab would just stay in rotation, is what I've decided. No new topics that I can think of. Gender neutral topics include:
(1) Books that aren't totally embarassingly girly (i.e., romance novels, which go into the upper category).
(2) NPR. Always good for a conversation with other highly educated liberals.
(3) Funny stuff. As opposed to cute stuff. Videos of people falling down are one example. Having seen someone fall down would be another example.
(4) Science itself. You know, when we talk about work or what we're actually working on. What do you mean I never actually work!?!
(5) Politics and religion. These topics should never be discussed at work but often are.
Finally, the friend was saying that he wanted women around so that he could get away from the sex and sports talk. I replied that I also might enjoy having men around, but, then I remembered what we talk about when there aren't men around and realized that it's often me who started the conversation and that I might feel annoyed to not be able to gripe about my weight...or, you know, my period or breasts or whatever...
Swipe Wipe
7 months ago
