Marine Lorax?

The Lorax spoke for the trees 'cause the trees have no tongues. We all went crazy and started climbing onto "save the rainforest" movement. Paper got recycled and people scolded each other about the trees that went into their wasteful print jobs. I'm not sure it helped but we all realized that there was a crisis. Our parents and grandparents shook their heads sadly and talked about how, "All this used to be forest." We didn't maybe realize that, as we spoke, we were doing the same thing to the oceans.

The dead zone, the garbage patch, and now this. It's not going to be okay, you know? I just don't think it's going to be okay. We'll be explaining to our children about how we used to be able to just put bait on a line, catch a fish from the ocean, and eat it. They'll be like, "WHAAAA!?!" I'm not sure what to do. I'm excited to have a friend working on the problem. She realized it was a big deal years ago...What the f- are we gonna do?

What women talk about...

I feel annoyed when men talk about how hard women are to understand. There are several reasons. It's hard to break down. But, a friend of mine recently said that he hates working in majority male workplaces because these environments tend to nurture conversations that revolve around sex and sports. The friend doesn't like to talk about either topic with his coworkers. This observation by my friend led me to consider what gets discussed in primarily female environments and it's not so easy to describe. This makes me think two things: (1) If I go around saying that all men talk about is sex and sports, gobs and tons of men would agree with me, but, I would be alienating and excluding lots of other men who don't. (2) If the men who say that women are hard to understand fall into the category of men who talk primarily about sex and sports, I can see how they would feel confused by the proverbial women, who have more than two topics of conversation. On the other hand, we have Randy Travis who extols that old men will "talk about the weather...forever and ever amen," while old women will "talk about old men." I think he's referring primarily to old farmers, whose jobs depend on the weather.

Now I will stop rambling to describe what I have thought of in terms of things I talk about when only women are around that I would not talk about if a man or two were present:

(1) My weight. Including my attempts to lose weight, how badly I have eaten recently, how fat I have become or fear I will become, and any recent fluctuations in my weight. This also includes conversations that fall under the umbrella of assuming that my companions worry about their weights as much as I do.

(2) Men. Sorry, I know it's cliche but it's true. Randy Travis is not totally wrong. It probably has to do with the minority's reliance on the majority, etc. Anyway, I talk to my female friends about my husband, their partners, the way men do things or don't do things, differences between genders (the conversation I'm currently sharing falls into category number 2), etc.

(2) How cute things are. This is the one that I mentioned to my friend. Many women will talk about pop idols but, in science, I find that lots of women like to talk about how cute baby animals and various microbes are (I'm a microbiologist). Also, sometimes, tiny glassware (particularly organic chemists).

All of this caused me to think about what I talk about when men are around. Some things that I talk about in the all-female lab would just stay in rotation, is what I've decided. No new topics that I can think of. Gender neutral topics include:

(1) Books that aren't totally embarassingly girly (i.e., romance novels, which go into the upper category).

(2) NPR. Always good for a conversation with other highly educated liberals.

(3) Funny stuff. As opposed to cute stuff. Videos of people falling down are one example. Having seen someone fall down would be another example.

(4) Science itself. You know, when we talk about work or what we're actually working on. What do you mean I never actually work!?!

(5) Politics and religion. These topics should never be discussed at work but often are.

Finally, the friend was saying that he wanted women around so that he could get away from the sex and sports talk. I replied that I also might enjoy having men around, but, then I remembered what we talk about when there aren't men around and realized that it's often me who started the conversation and that I might feel annoyed to not be able to gripe about my weight...or, you know, my period or breasts or whatever...

Oh, that sleep talkin' man

http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/

Surely you've all seen this but I just want to say that I love it. Allegedly, he talks in his sleep and his wife records it and puts it on the blog. I don't really care if it's true. I'm rarely this clever, asleep or awake. Everything he says makes me happy and laughy and, unlike me and the rest of you, he says something every day. He can be depended upon. Some of my favorites include, "Don't put the duck there, it's totally irresponsible. Put him on the swing, he'll have much more fun." and today's, "God, you whine like whale song. But a lot less eerie and beautiful and more, well, fucking annoying." Actually, all of today's are hilarious, which makes me feel a little like a grump-a-potamus because his wife does a little disclaimer about how unkind he was last night. Love. this. guy.

Oh, one more thing, this site confirms my suspicion that we're all more clever and enlightened when we're sleeping and that we, therefore, should prioritize sleep if we want to be smart.

Idyllic...sometimes

Kevin put up a hammock in our back yard a couple of weekends ago. It's much more comfortable than I remembered hammocks being. We took some very charming photos of Milo and me out there:




It seems perfect, and it was. However, just an hour ago, I took Milo out there to try and re-live the moment. Problem #1: Kevin wouldn't go out because he wanted to continue watching the Braves. Problem #2: The sun was shining directly in the baby's eyes such that I had to walk around to the compost-pile side of the hammock. Problem #3: I came back in covered in something invisible that itches like a mother. Some sort of buggy. I can't see it but every now and then I pick at an itchy spot and have something between my fingers. It's too small to examine. I don't know what it is. I have 100 itchy spots.

Sandra Bullock and me

In this editorial, David Brooks explains/asks:

Two things happened to Sandra Bullock this month. First, she won an Academy Award for best actress. Then came the news reports claiming that her husband is an adulterous jerk. So the philosophic question of the day is: Would you take that as a deal? Would you exchange a tremendous professional triumph for a severe personal blow?

Do you want to know something sad? I'm afraid that if I had been asked this question when I was in my third year of grad school, I might have said yes. I was working on developing a genetic system for Anaeromyxobacter in those days. It never did work, but, if it had, I would have been somewhat more scientifically successful than I currently am...I think. The trouble is that I sort of would have had to make this trade in order to follow up on my theoretical scientific success. As I sort of feel I would need to do now. I have been fairly successful, comparably speaking, and I am glad about that. But, having had the amazing gift of tremendous personal triumph also (i.e., amazing husband and mind boggling love for baby), I can't even imagine losing the latter, whereas, the former just seems to be a nice little fortunate thing. Probably, if I had failed in my career, I would feel differently. Particularly when my kid(s) get older and move away, I will be glad that I did this thing for my self. Also, I was incredibly glad to go back to work when Milers got old enough. That's not true for everyone and every job. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here but Brooks goes on to say:

if you had to take more than three seconds to think about this question, you are absolutely crazy. Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being. If you have a successful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many professional setbacks you endure, you will be reasonably happy. If you have an unsuccessful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many career triumphs you record, you will remain significantly unfulfilled.

I agree that it's an easy decision to make. Also, it helps to explain why a person very close to me, who is in the middle of a divorce, has spent the last few years of her life continuously changing jobs. I think maybe she was trying to fill the hole.

According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income. According to another, being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year.

I like this final quote because I like to point out to myself how, since I married an attorney, I get double the fantastic happiness. Is that crass to admit? I think it's possible that the difference between my salary if I had gone crazy as a scientist would be $100,000 more than what I will likely do as a job now that I'm a mom. However, the scientist on whose salary I'm basing this estimate is not happier than I am and has told me more than once that he just wants a girlfriend...

...because, otherwise, it's just an endless string of baby pictures

Hey, consider posting this yourself (as I did) to get out of writing a blog entry without taking yet another step away from your loyal follower.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
3:30 and then 6:30

2. Diamonds or pearls?
Pearls

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Star Trek, I think...

4. What is your favorite TV show?
"favorite" is a difficult word. I've seen the entire series of the Gilmore Girls three times from beginning to end, which means it's beginning to wear thin. Ditto for 30 Rock. So, I'm currently really enjoying Pushing Daisies.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast
Cereal with fruit and nuts

6. What is your middle name?
Henry

7. What food do you dislike?
Ew, yeah, Boiled Eggs! Yuk.

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Little Grey Girlfriend by Little Grey Girlfriend

9. What kind of car do you drive?
2005 Toyota Matrix (did not get recalled! too old! Wahoo!)

11. What characteristic do you despise?
sarcasm...just kidding...um...extreme and frequent sincerity (cocked head, concerned eyebrows)

12. Favorite item of clothing?
cardigan

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Vancouver Island

14. Favorite brand of clothing?
Merona

15. Where would you retire?
Coast of one of the good southern states: NC, SC, GA, or VA

16. What was your most memorable birthday?
I actually do remember my 21st, so, that one. Giant margaritas.

17. Favorite sport to watch?
Curling, it turns out, doesn't totally suck in the same way that all the other sports do. Actually, lots of stuff is fun if you're somehow invested (e.g., your college team in some sort of championship)

[skipped some stupid questions]

20. When is your birthday?
"two days after halloween" is what I told people when i was in elementary school.

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
more morning than night

22. What is your shoe size?
9 1/2 (surely Emily's mom could have found it in her heart to leave this one off)

23. Pets?
Wyatt and Chloe, two cats.

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
My baby is fantastic...not new news but it's something I seem to keep sharing with everyone.

25. What did you want to be when u grew up?
teacher

26. How are you today?
Fine, thank you.

27. What is your favorite candy?
Dark chocolate with stuff. I like the dried fruit ones, like pear.

28. What is your favorite flower?
I like them best when they're all together with one another...but, I'll say "peonies."

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Saturday

30. What are you listening to right now?
the dryer

31. What was the last thing you ate?
Pho

32. Do you wish on stars?
not often. you can't really see them in my city.

33. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
purple

34. How is the weather right now?
unseasonably cold.

35. The first person you spoke to on the phone today
Kevin. he's pretty much the only person i talk to every day

36. Favorite soft drink?
La Croix

37. Favorite restaurant?
I don't know. I don't really have favorites. I change my mind.

38. Real hair color?
Saltier and saltier salt and pepper

39. What was your favorite toy as a child?
my sister's toy

40. Summer or winter?
well, it depends on the locale. in the southeastern US, I like winter.

41. Hugs or kisses
no thank you, unless you're my husband, in which case, both, please.

42. Chocolate or Vanilla?
dark chocolate...these questions don't really allow for my fickle personality.

43. Coffee or tea?
coffee

[stupid]

45. When was the last time you cried?
At a la leche league meeting as I told the group that I don't enjoy leaving my baby at daycare.

46. What is under your bed?
clothes in plastic boxes

47. What did you do last night?
fed baby, watched tv, fed baby, watched tv, bathed baby, fed baby, went to bed

48. What are you afraid of?
losing people I love

49. Salty or sweet?
See!?! What is this!?! Both. I like both.

50. How many keys on your key ring?
I have two key rings. My work one has five. My home one has...maybe also 5.

51. How many years at your current job?
one

52. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday

53. How many towns have you lived in?
6 in the 18 years before I graduated from high school. 2 in the 15 years after that (one of which I lived in for only 4 months).

54. Do you make friends easily?
yes...but I don't always like them..is that okay to say?

[more stupid questions]

Softy

I have said before that I don't really buy the idea of baby-directed parenting. I guess I believe that parents know things that babies don't know about what is best for a baby. They need to eat before they're so hungry they cry, they need to sleep before they're so tired they fall asleep, etc. So, I've felt a little bit like a hard-ass when compared to my more attachment-style parent friends. I sort of keep my voice down and try not to comment when people talk about "feeding on demand" and letting the baby "take the lead." I have a consultant, you see. She came to my house when the baby was three weeks old and showed me how to clip his fingernails, bathe him, take his temperature, etc. And, she advises me via email on how to keep his schedule updated with his development and how to treat his minor medical conditions like cradle cap and spitting up. She also helped me diagnose his acid reflux, along with his doctor. Now, all that said, I have found my divergent point from the routine-focused parents.

It seems that the latter parents, those who don't let the baby "take the lead," have a tendency to buy into a one-size-fits-all philosophy. At 8 weeks, babies should sleep through the night. At bedtime, they need to take a bath, have a bottle from their daddies, read a book, and go to sleep. They should eat every 2.5-3 hours when little and 3.5-4 when bigger. I enjoyed these rules when the baby was little. He was hard to read and I couldn't tell what he wanted so the rules made me feel like he was taken care of, whether or not he was completely glee-ful. Now, I'm getting a little soft. I feel like I can make decisions based on Milo's specific needs and personality. He sleeps well. He wakes up at 4am and wants to be fed, but, frankly, I miss him and want to see him at 4am so I don't mind. I don't want to push him to stay asleep yet. Also, his skin is really dry and he goes to sleep pretty easily so I'm considering dropping the bath a few days a week. Finally, he doesn't seem to be hungry outside of his scheduled eating times very often, but, when he is, I feed him. Another funny thing about the difference between me and my consultant presented itself recently when Milo boycotted his bottle, five days before he needed to start daycare. I asked a few different people what to do. I don't want to criticize, because I asked. I'll just say that I feel differently than my consultant on this issue. I explained to her that, when Milo screamed and turned all red and angry (totally out of character), I caved and breastfed him. She explained to me that, "If you cave he will know 'I can scream, throw a fit and get the breast'." I just think he's too little to know this sort of cause and effect. I think he's unhappy for some reason and that I can give him some room and wait for him to feel better. For the record, he took his bottle the following night without a fuss. I don't know why he spent two nights rebelling but I don't really care.

Here is a very uneventful video of him bouncing himself/his toys in his bouncy chair. I, of course, find it to be the cutest thing in the world. You, maybe, will find that it looks like a baby in a bouncy chair. You should know that he just figured out that he can bounce himself. Also, there's no sound, but when he moves his mouth, he's making an adorable coo.