Vomit, a nice post about my husband.

I think that maybe people don't like to hear wonderful touching things that other people feel about their spouses because it sounds like bragging. Alternatively, it makes people feel like you've shared private information. Unfortunately, it is totally socially fine to complain about the poor souls and, because of that, I'm constantly concerned that people get the wrong idea at the small scale, about Kevin and, at the large scale, about marriage. I just watched Julie and Julia last week and my favorite thing about it was the relationship between Julia Child and her husband. I felt like it was a really good portrayal of married love and it made me happy. Because, it's different, right? So, you get a lot of "love stories" in the media/movies/etc. and there's all this drama and big feelings and dramatic crescendos and then there's the cultural idea that it ends after a little while and you just suck it up and get used to the absence of romance. And I perpetuate that notion a little bit because it is really different. You lose a lot of the feeling of putting on a fancy dress to see if you can impress someone or the feelings of surprise or nerves (these things vary, based on the couple). What I'm really excited about now is how much new and exciting stuff you get, which is hard to quantify or explain or put into a movie. I think I've done this before but I'm going to attempt to make a list of things that can be features in a happy marriage (that are features of mine):

(1) You have, for perhaps the first time for some people, someone who generally thinks that you're a good person who tries hard to do the right thing. You can be a big asshole or act badly and feel like everyone hates you, but, as long as the victim isn't the poor spouse, he/she will maybe give you an opinion about what you've done, but, ultimately know that you shouldn't be judged too harshly.

(2) He/she, for the most part, takes care of you when you're unpleasant. Take this from a pregnant person. I am stinky and cranky and hate-filled. Also, demanding and not much help (e.g., with yard-work and carrying furniture).

(3) It's not that there isn't a fluttery sense of how much I love him, there is, it's just that it feels different, maybe bigger and more profound, when it's not new and it's missing the sense that you could lose him at any moment. This feeling does get especially profound if I hear a story about someone losing his/her spouse. It makes a person want to rush home and engulf him/her to be sure he/she is safe. Sometimes it happens to Kevin and it's a nice feeling from either end.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that I firmly believe that marriage is worthwhile. I'm re-iterating that sentiment because I think it's important, if sappy. Now I'm going to go back to my previous post to see if I'm repeating myself...sort of...you can decide for yourself.