Uncomfortable truths

I'll start with the lighthearted truth I learned this morning. I use the internet very much like a woman. It's the shopping. I would like to point out that, at Land's End, I purchased a gym bag for my husband...but that probably makes this even more true because that's how much he doesn't shop online. Anyway, based on the test found here, I'm almost all woman:

Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 96%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 4%

Site	Male-Female Ratio
google.com	0.98
yahoo.com	0.9
wikipedia.org	1.08
mapquest.com	0.83
facebook.com	0.83
blogger.com	1.06
weather.com	1.08
bankofamerica.com	0.9
homedepot.com	0.94
rockyou.com	0.46
shutterfly.com	0.67
hallmark.com	0.52
hotmail.com	0.83
llbean.com	0.68
landsend.com	0.64
gatech.edu	1.06

Apparently, "rock you" is associated with facebook. I don't think I should have to take that score twice. I think that the only sites that get included are the ones that are in that top 10k sites website. I'm annoyed. I feel somewhat androgenous but, whatever.

This brings me to another realization I had today. Along the lines of "He's Just Not That Into You," there should maybe be a book for the complaining graduate students of the world called, "You're Just Not Doing That Good of a Job" or maybe, "You're Just Not All That Smart." This happens to me occassionally. I somehow get an outside perspective and realize that part of my trouble is that I'm sort of in way over my head. I have a long history of getting myself to this point by hook or by crook and now I'll graduate the same way. My former office mate and I were constantly complaining about how hard it is to get my advisor to submit one of our papers and how his standards are just so ridiculous. So I gave my paper to the office mate to read. After sort of a long time, he sent it back to me with what can only be described as an email cringe. Here's a quote:

"I have tried to offer you honest, constructive criticism that I believe will improve the manuscript...I think that you have an interesting story, but the manuscript needs some additional work before the data and significance become clear. Please don't hate me."

So, really, in short, "You're the problem, in this case." Anyway, I've got coffee and big plans to fix this. It kind of makes me feel empowered to realize that the ball is in my court. The ironic thing is that my "difficult" advisor was super nice to me about this particular paper. We had a meeting and he was enthusiastic and he reminded me that the other paper is almost done and that I'm on my way. Take all this together and what do you get? The problem is ME! This is like when I study my ass off and get an F on an exam while my study partners make A's. It's not the material so much as the receptacle. I'm re-examining my committee meeting and all the dum-dums my advisor has employed in the past and thinking that the committee must have all been sitting there thinking, "If only there had been a committee meeting sooner, we could have suggested that this sweet young thing leave with a master's. She probably spends her time surfing the internet for gym bags to buy her husband."

Sigh. Now I need to start the blog about why I am so disappointed to find out that I'm an internet woman and how that links in my head to my difficulties with science. Totally fucked up, right? Sigh again.